Thoughts - People in my life

I was thinking yesterday as I got through my day that no one is really alone. I mean, there is always someone affecting your life one way or another. Some more than others, some not as much. But I was thinking about how I had realized that nothing was going to change this year unless I made changes in myself and my life. And that is very true. But I also have to consider all the other people in my life. My family, my friends, my co-workers, my boss, the people I deal with everywhere. It's like tons of ripples going outward from me. Everything I do does affect them, just as what they does affects me. Now, I really like the idea that no one can make me feel a certain way, such as people don't "make" you mad. You allow them to make you mad. If you choose not to let them upset you, you are in control of your life. However, being responsible for how you act also means being aware of how what you do affects those around you as well.

When I decided to make changes in my life, I realized that it would affect people - some more than others. Such as my kids, my husband, my parents. I know I can't really change them, but I can change me, which will make changes in them. I hope I am making sense. I guess maybe an example would help. Okay, I have my son who is 7 that lives with me. Every day, I do things the same way pretty much. He knows this, he knows how to react to it. But, as I make changes in how I act and what I do, that is going to change how he does things as well. So, when I make changes to me, I am actually making changes in others as well. Sometimes these can be good changes, sometimes maybe not. There very well may be those who don't like the changes. What do you do with that? I can't not change just to keep others happy. I know a lot of the things I currently do are for others. I often give up things for myself to do things for others. I give up my time, my energy, my things. I am one of those people who have a hard time saying no. So, what happens when I start putting my foot down? What happens when I start saying no to people? Am I going to make them angry? Maybe. Am I going to upset people? Probably. This is probably one of the biggest reasons I fear change. Not so much because it is going to be different - in my book different is good. But I don't like people to be upset with me. I don't like people to be angry with me. I have a hard time standing my ground when I say no. But I need to learn how to do it. Instead of doing for others all the time, I need to learn how to say no. And mean it.

So, what about those people in my life who aren't willing to change with me? What about those people who aren't going to accept that I want to do things differently? Well, I guess maybe then it is time to move on. You can still love someone and care about them, and let them go. I don't want to keep people in my life who don't care how unhappy I am simply because it makes their life easier. I don't want to keep people in my life who only want what I can do for them or give them. I want people in my life who love me, want what is best for me, and want to see my grow and change as a person. The ones who can't need to step aside because I may care about them. But I need to do what is best for me.