Challenges - Balance and Priorities

So, claiming this is a new year and a new me is a lofty goal for anyone. Setting up a huge list of goals is great too. And I have posted here about how everything I do is affecting those around me. It would be easier if it were just me and I was changing just my life. But, having a child and a husband living with me, and an older child who is with us every weekend makes it all that much more challenging. Things have to be done, needs have to be met, things change. I would like to be more selfish, to take more of what I need, to do more of what I want to do. But, that has to balance out somehow with the needs of my family. Especially my kids. To me, there is really not such a thing as quality time, as much as quality AND quantity time. Kids need you. You have to be there. Especially when they are younger. And with a younger son who has some special needs, there is no such thing as putting off what needs done. So, when they need me, they need me. Some things can't be avoided. So, what do you do when there are so many things that can't be avoided? What happens when your life is so full of things that NEED to be done, there is little left for what you want to get done.

Then, there are other things too. So if you think about it, life is like a series of circles. There is you, then there is your family. Then there is your community. Then there is the country. Then there is the world. I am active with my family. I try to be active in the community. I try to keep up on what's going on in the country. I try to follow what's going on in the world. I worry about my family. I try to help those who need help in our community. I want to see changes in our country. I worry about the state of the world. If we don't try to make changes in the world outside our own little circle, things will only get worse. But, when you are struggling to do things just for yourself, and then your family, what is left over. For anyone who looked at my schedule, you will see that it is jam packed. Now, working midnight shift doesn't help. The world operates on the day shift. But, I do a lot on line to try and be active politically, spiritually, socially. But it isn't always easy. There just aren't enough hours in the day or enough of me to go around.

When I look at all these things, I get a bit overwhelmed. When I think of all I am responsible for, it gets a bit intimidating. And then, when I add on there that I want to be more selfish, I feel like somehow I'm dropping the ball elsewhere. It's easy to say to set priorities. But sometimes it all seems to be so important. There doesn't seem to be something that I could just let slide. But, there has to be somethings that I let go. There has to be some things that take a back burner. For most of my life, it has been me that took the back burner. For the most part it has always been me that made the sacrifices. I haven't asked others to give up for me, it was always what I gave up for them. Now, of course, I'm not going to tell my kids to buzz off, it's not their turn. But, there must be some ways to show them that there is some times when they simply need to do for themselves. Or maybe help them to feel included in the things I am doing for me. I also need to look at ways to get my husband to step up to the plate and take some of the responsibility too. That would help a great deal. But everything can't be code red. Everything can't be of the most importance. There has to be a balance. It's finding it that is the challenge.