Goal Progress - Leggo My Ego

You make me so mad. You hurt me so much. You make me feel so worthless. Why do you make me feel this way? Why? Because I let you. I allow you to influence how I feel, how I think, how I feel about myself and how I act. It is not all your fault. Now, don't get me wrong - it is not right to push, hurt, manipulate, and insult others. But, it is up to me to let you do that to me. If I chose not to let you, then you can't. I can chose not to listen. I can chose to set my own self-worth. I can chose not to get angry. I can decide not to get mad and to let it go. So, you think I'm worthless? I don't. I find value in myself. I know I am worthy, I know I am a good person. I also won't take the blame for your mistakes. I won't feel guilty for things that you do. I won't allow myself to be manipulated into doing things that I don't want to do. Or things that aren't healthy for me.

How many of us let others set our view of ourselves? All of us. It's inevitable in some ways. We learn our self-worth from our parents. If our parents start our lives out making us feel worthwhile and valuable, loved and wanted, then it makes it easier to believe later in life. However, even if you don't have that kind of luck, that is no reason that you can't still learn that valuable lesson in life. At some point you have to wake up and realize that your parents were not gods. They do not make the sun rise, and the tides come in. They were just people who had a child. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my parents. But, at some point, I had to stop blaming my parents for everything in my life and take responsibility for who I was. On that same note, I have to realize that everyone in my life is not responsible for how I feel, what I do, and where I go in my life. It's so easy to let others keep you down, make you feel bad, make you feel angry. How easy it is to say "Well, not my fault - blank - said this or did this". Nope, suck it up, you are responsible for you. Much of what I feel, do, and say, is in reaction to others in my life. My kids, my husband, my co-workers, etc. Wow, what a lot of power I am giving away. Now, who hasn't gone into a store, had a crappy cashier who was grumpy and mean. You may leave the store feeling grumpy and angry. But why? Why give them the power to ruin your day. You go to a restaurant and you have a nasty server. Do you let it ruin your whole meal? You are paying for that meal and you should enjoy it. If you don't like your server, you have some choices. You can sit there, feeling worse and worse, you can let it ruin a meal. Or you can chose not to. You can ask for a different server. You can ignore it and be pleasant. You can enjoy yourself. Now, I'll be honest. It's easy to say, not so easy to do. I am one of those who picks up strongly on other people's emotions, attitudes, and words. I let other people ruin my mood, my day, my meal. But, as I said. I am giving them all the power. I am allowing them to dictate my life to me. This, needs, to, stop. I need to reclaim the power of my life and take back my emotions.

You want to have a crappy day? Have at it. You want to be insulting, rude and mean? Feel free. You want to take your anger out on others? Go for it. You will no longer be affecting me by doing that. I am not going to allow you to push your crap on me. You can judge me all you want, but it is my own judgement that matters. You can think what ever you want about me, it is what I think of myself that counts. I am me, for good or bad. I will stand on my own. I will be who and what I want to be. Succeed, fail, it's up to me and my decisions and actions. No one can make me do or say or feel anything that I don't allow them to. I will laugh when I want, cry when I want, even feel down when I want. My emotions are mine, they have value. My life, my choice. I can have it my way. And I don't even have to go to Burger King to do it.