Thoughts - Walk A Mile In My Shoes

I have a lot of tolerance, acceptance, empathy, and understanding for people. I realize that everyone has it rough in one way or another. From the riches of people, who seem to have everything, to the people who have to live on the street. It is sometimes easy to look at others and think you know what it's like to be them. Who hasn't looked at someone who has a lot of money, and thought, wow to be them. To be able to buy anything you wanted. Or looked at your friends, or family, or whoever and thought, wow, they have it made. They have it so easy. On the flip side of that coin, it is also hard sometimes to have empathy for others. To listen to them complain and not think to yourself, wow, I have it way worse than they do and I don't complain half as much. So, putting things in perspective and realizing that everyone has it hard in some way or another is important. Keeping in mind that no one really has it made. If everyone would do that, maybe we could all help each other out more instead of always looking at how hard we have it ourselves. That being said, I wish there were some people in my life who would look at what I do, what I am going through, what I have to deal with, and have a little empathy. I'm not looking for them to pity me, feel bad for me, or even necessarily help me. Just not criticizing me and telling me things are my own fault, or that I need to do more. Or criticizing how I spend my time, or even what I do with my free time. Walk a mile in my shoes. Live my life for awhile. Do what I do, face the decisions I face. Then you can judge me. I respect what you do, what you are going through. I may not understand completely what you face, but I respect that you are going through it. Why do people not do the same? Why do some people feel they have the right to come down on me for my life? Now, it is true that there are those who do nothing to make their lives better. There are those who complain constantly yet do nothing to change it. There are those who aren't happy unless they are unhappy about something. I do find it very hard to remain sympathetic and supportive after awhile. Those who have the same problems over, and over, and over. And yet, when offered options, instead of looking at those options and how to make them work, they look for reasons why they wouldn't work. And be honest, we have all done that at some point. At some point we all have probably felt trapped and like it will never get better or change. But, usually, at some point, we all get fed up and make changes. After all, isn't that what this whole blog is about? Making changes, changing myself, changing my life? And trust me, it's not easy. I face challenges every day to these changes. But, I keep trying. It's not fast or easy. But I am trying. Then to have people both to my face, and behind my back, to criticize me, say I'm not doing enough, and even that I am lying about what my life is like, just makes it all that much harder. It makes it all that much worse. Instead of looking at what it must be like to be me, and deal with everything, they stand on the outside making judgements and telling me what I should be doing. I don't do that to them. I don't look at them and tell them they aren't doing enough. I don't tell them they are full of crap and should just get over it. I don't look at their issues and tell them they are petty or stupid. I don't judge. I want to lift people up, not put them down. So, when I hear things like this, I try my hardest to not let it get to me. I try my hardest to keep in mind that I am doing the best I can do right now. I remember that it is my life - not theirs. I do not have to make them happy. I do not have to please them. I don't even have to listen to them. I can do this my way. I can do this for me. I can live my life, my way, with or without their love and support. In my time, with my own two feet walking my own path. I can choose not to let them bring me down. I can decide not to let them push me in a direction I don't want to go. And most of all, I can take it easy on myself sometimes too. I shouldn't have to gear up with mental armor to deal with some people. But - if needs be, I can. I can fight back. I can live my life and they can either join me on my journey or not. Those who mind, don't matter, those who matter, don't mind. Accept me, love me, lift me up as I lift you up. I will do the same for you. I will respect you and give you all the support I can. I expect the same back though. I expect you to accept, even if you don't understand. I know you don't know exactly what I'm going through - you can't, you aren't me. But understand that my path is difficult, just as your is. This isn't a contest of who has it worse. This isn't a who does what better race. There isn't a winner and a loser. There is both of us winning by having a loving caring relationship where we both succeed. So, let's turn this into a win/win situation instead of an attack or a war. Let's walk beside each other on our paths and share the journey.



Finger Eleven - Walking In My Shoes