If you have seen the movie Dead Again, you may remember this scene. If you haven't, you should watch it. It is a great movie about reincarnation and murder. Awesome movie. But the scene I'm talking about doesn't have a whole lot to do with the movie. Kenneth Branaugh plays a private detective named Mike Church. He locates a psychiatrist who has inherited some money, Dr. Cozy Carlisle, played by Robin Williams. He goes to see him, where he is working in a grocery store due to losing his license. While talking to Carlisle, Church keeps eyeing a pack of cigarettes that are sitting there by Carlisle.
Carlisle "You want a smoke?"
Church "No, no, I'm trying to quit."
Carlisle "Don't say you are trying to quit. Trying to quit is for pussies that can't commit. Either you are a smoker or a non-smoker. Make up your mind which you are and be that. There is no in between."
Well, brilliant words for those who have that kind of strength to commit to something, anything. But, some of us, we are wusses, who can't commit to forever. Imagine if everything were in those terms. Alcoholics Anonymous would not need twelve steps, it would be one step - stop drinking for the rest of your life. People would just be - whatever. But, yeah, I'm not that strong. With smoking, with changing, with so many things. To me, it's all about baby steps. When I look at doing something for the rest of my life, I shake. Be it, oh not smoking, or marriage, or heck - living. Whatever it may be. I don't know many people who can look at something they need to do for the rest of thier lives and not falter a little bit. But, the good thing is, you don't have to do it the rest of your life. You just have to do it now, today, or for the next five minutes. Whatever it takes to get you through. It doesn't seem so intimidating that way. And for me, it carries me through a lot of things. Such as school. When I started back at school, I looked at how long it would take me to finish and thought, I can't do that. I can't work midnight shift, go to school, and take care of my family for the next two years. But I didn't. I took it one class at a time. And got my first degree. When I saw that I could do it, I started my next degree. Two and a half years. Wow, long time to keep doing this. But, again - not forever. Just one class at a time. Then, when I had to stop due to financial aid, I was trapped in this job which is killing me. But, can't quit, can't not have a job. So, while I'm looking for another job, how do I face doing this one? One night at a time. One step at a time. If you break it down to baby steps, it isn't so overwhelming. It's doable.
So, now I've mastered the concept of baby steps. It can be frustrating, especially for someone who likes to make great leaps and bounds (often without looking). I like big changes. But the problem with big changes? They don't stick. To decide suddenly that I am going to going to eat vegetables, and never eat unhealthy foods, probably wouldn't happen. But making one or two small changes in my diet each week, before I know it, a much better diet. I want my entire apartment clean and organized - NOW. But, it is a hard thing to do when we all have bad habits, it's a mess, and there are tons of other demands on my time. So, how do we do this? One baby step at a time. Over time - clean and organized.
So, what am I doing with this brilliant wisdom I have acquired? Well, a lot of different things. I am making changes to my diet. I have cut out fast food. I have stopped drinking sodas. I have cut my sugar intake down. I have tried replacing some of the unhealthy foods I cook with better choices. I am eathing more regular meals (at least as much as I can on my schedule). So those are a few of my changes to my diet. I have also started the task of organizing my apartment. It's little steps, which are harder because I am fighting against the tide of other people. But, I got laundry sorters, picked up as much of the laundry as I could, and have been trying to do at least a load a day. We aren't caught up, but we aqre getting there. I have also gotten rid of 7 bags of clothes to the thrift store. More to come. Each step I take helps me to build the confidence I need to take the next baby step. And now, I am ready for a bigger baby step. I want to quit smoking. Wow, a biggie for me. I have tried and tried and tried. I've tried cold turkey, I've tried medications, I have tried the gum, the patch, the smokeless cigarettes. I've been to a hypnotist. All failed, big time. I never lasted for more than a week or two. And I have to quit. I have to. I hate smoking. But I can't even imagine not smoking for the rest of my life. Wait a minute - I don't have to quit smoking for the rest of my life. I can just quit smoking for today. Or this morning. Or this hour. Or this 5 minutes. That I can' do. I can make sure I don't smoke in the next 5 minutes. And this hour. And this morning. After that, I don't have to worry about. Because for now - baby steps are enough. Baby steps get you there just as well as giant leaps. And there is far less of a chance of breaking something in the jump.
No comments:
Post a Comment